A woman's right to (cheap) Choos

Far be it for me to even pretend that I'm still running this blog regularly but sometimes the news is so stupendous, you have to come out your hole, blink shortsighted at the sun and say: H&M have somehow managed to convince Jimmy Choo - THE Jimmy Choo - to design a range of accessories for them. How do H&M do it?

The collection will include bags and shoes for both women and men and will be hitting 200 stores worldwide in November. Dear lord! I can just see the long queues and the mad scrum that'll ensue. There will be blood, I tells ya.

Designalike - YSL Vs Topshop

YSL Caged Heels, £905

I have seen these caged boots from YSL so many times now that they are firmly imprinted on my subconscious. I full expect to one day sleep-walk to the nearest YSL store, order a pair and then calmly go back to bed, bankrupt and unaware. I'm also fully aware that the entire high street has tried to make something approximating the caged heel's charms.

Topshop caged heels, £70

The most passable copies I've seen out there so far are these from Topshop. We've all had a look at the original caged shoe and marvelled at the feat of engineering involved. So have Topshop by the looks of it and have opted for an easier and no doubt cheaper heel alternative. Still, good effort considering.

That's so fetch!

Mama needs new shoes! Okay, maybe not, considering I have a whole tree of them growing in my room. So I don't need new shoes but it's hard to resist the Farfetch sale when that I can get gorgeous and hard to find designer shoes for 30% or more off.

Here are just some of the beauties I've got my eye on (click on image to enlarge):

Jan's the man

Given my natural predilection for extraordinary shoes, I'm surprised that it's taken this long for the name Jan Jansen to register with me. This is even though I'd come across a few if his designs in one of my favourite shoe books Linda O'Keefe. I don't know how I've managed to last this long without once googling his name or encountering his work in some other way. All I know is, if ever there were a crazy shoe-maker that I would most like to meet it would be this guy.

His shoe designs are beautiful, surreal, ugly, mesmerising works of art. Seeing all his designs together finally helps me understand how Irregular Choice or Dries van Noten or Antonio Berardi shoes exist. Jansen, for me, is the missing creative link.

Jansen has been making his distinctive shoes under his own name since 1964. He is also based in Amsterdam - information that prompted much kicking of myself as I had just been there recently and would've had to seek out his workshop for the appropriate hero worship. I do however have the next best thing within my grasp because I have just found out that there is a shop in Muswell Hill that sells his shoes. Yippee! At a price point of between £120 - £400 depending on style, they aren't cheap but I would gladly pay the £210 asking price for these winged platform shoes or £315 for the hairy boots: Here are some others that I would mind laying my hands on either:
To find out more about Jan Jansen and feast your eyes on a selection of his shoes over the decades go to JanJansenShoes.com

To find out more about the shop in Muswell Hill go to JanJansenLondon.co.uk

Marc Jacobs shoe lurve and haaate

This Marc by Marc Jacobs boot is called Shepherds Bush. I'm pretty sure he got the "bush" part right but possibly the material came from the Sheep's, um, bush. Personally, I'd just like to be assured that no Yeti's were skinned in the production of this footwear.
Marc, there is no other way of putting this: these boots are crap and will possibly smell like dead dog if worn in the rain... and for that reason? I'm out.

On the other hand... (Or should that be foot?) these simple patent peeptoes in bright blue with cute red heel, are definitely on my fantasy shopping list. I know that at least Winona would approve. That red heel might just stop her from doing the full smurf.

Shoe images via: Kurt Geiger

Designalike: Gucci Vs Primark

Vs


You'd be forgiven if you're looking at these two shoe images right now and thinking: "what's the diff?" Because that's exactly what I thought. Here is the simple answer:

On the top we have a £585 Gucci shoe. Available from all fine purveyors of designer gear. Obviously made of leather.

On the bottom, we have a £15 Primark almost exact replica shoe (apart from the fact that it has two buckles). Available from most local high streets. Possibly not made of leather.

The next question is, which pair do you think most people are going to buy? Answers on a postcard please.*

*Or in the comments box (thereby saving yourself time and money)

ADDED NOTE: In the flesh, the shoes tuned out to not be very good. See my review here

Shoe Lurve- Thomas Burberry for SoleTrader quilted biker boots, £90

Good golly! When I first saw these boots on Stylefinder, I had to do a double-take. "£90," I thought, "shurely shome mishtake?" But upon further digging, it turns out there is no mistake at all.

These lovely, quilted babies - the result of a collaboration between SoleTrader and the Burberry - are indeed only £90. But forget that, because they are - and this is most important thing, afterall - straight up foine.

I'm finding it hard not to think of all the wonderful, things that I could do with these gorgeous boots:

• Wear with leather/shiny/PVC leggings? Oh, yes!
• Wear with pretty, lacy goth babydoll and black tights? Don't mind if I do.
• Wear with skinny jeans and slouchy tee? And why not?
• Wear with a pin-striped suit? You know I would!

They roll into Soletrader in September. Can't wait. Till then I'll be stalking SoleTrader's website like it's Angelina Jolie and I'm a random, shiftless, horny dude with a thing for big lipped brunettes and multiple psychological problems.

Shoe Lurve: Chloe wedge shboots, £225 at Yoox

I am not now, nor have ever been afraid of wearing yellow. In fact I positively embrace it. Especially if I can wear that colour on my feet in the form of these bright yellow, patent shboots.

They are ugly, but in a good way. I love the shape, the way that the leather smoothly covers the entire shoe and that exaggerated bit of heel/sole.

For some reason these shoes remind me of a sports car. It must be the sleek lines and the shiny pop of colour (oh dear, fashionspeak!)

They'd be great for dressing up jeans or dressing down a cocktail dress. It's times like this that I wish I had a bottomless bank account.

So fugly! Alexander McQueen shoes, £422

Erm... Excuse me... there seems to be a giant growth devouring the back of your shoe...

A tulle rose, you say? Nod to floral trend? Really?

Oh... um, okay. Sorry, my mistake.

So fugly! The "It" shoe has landed

So, the It bag is dead (can I hear a Halleluya?) but just as we bury one ridiculously overpriced designer trend, like the many headed Hydra up pops another one to keep us occupied. Ladies and gents, I present to you, my top 5 worst examples of the It shoe. 

In at 5, it's the American Retro jewel strap sandals, £256. From this angle they look like giant, squatting, jewel encrusted spiders. Nice.
At 4, it's Burberry's lizard and raffia sandals. Now, I've got to say this upfront, I don't think that these are particularly ugly shoes but at £450 they are ridiculously expensive and therefore open themselves up to ridicule. And also, I don't think the lizard got a fair deal.
Our entry at 3 is the... wait for it... the ultra-modern, glazed kid (I kid you not, ho ho!) sandal from Donna Karan. Relatively cheap for £195, they have the curved lines of a 70s Sci Fi spaceship. Oh, and also, check out the two-toned heel. Fugly spaceships for your feet.


The number 2 spot goes to the ever so glam, diamante heel sandals, £595 from John Galliano at Dior. If ever a shoe shouted LOOK AT ME! it's these. Not only is the cutout heel fully encrusted in cheap ass diamante, the buckle also has a tiny charm hanging off it. If Paris Hilton were a shoe, she'd be this shoe.
And right at the top at number 1, is it a shark? is it a plane? is it the bastard child of a granite work top, a shark and a plane? No, it's the super duper, all singing, all dancing, lizard (what, another one? What have these creatures ever done to you people?) and satin sandals. Check out those wings, which remind me, for some reason, of the flying monkeys of Oz. But there's more. The heel and sole are embedded with Swarovski crystals (all the better to bling you with). And there's more. Take a look at the geometric, floating platform sole. Okay, you know what? There. Is. Too. Much. Going. On. With. This. Shoe. Maybe it's to justify the £455 price tag but... Just. No.

The XXX shoe show

Having just spent the past few hours scrolling through a succession of gorgeous shoes online I've finally admitted to myself something that I suspected all along but was loathe to fully acknowledge:

Shoe sites are my porn.

Steve Madden, Kurt Geiger, Miu Miu, Bally, Gucci, Shoe Studio, Schuh, Office... I am a daily visitor to all these sites and more. I just cannot seem to get enough of the sweet shoe stuff. And this isn't even about buying the things, this is about spending whole swathes of time in a drooling daze while I ogle fancy shoes.

Surely this can't be normal?

Excuse me, there's a hole in these shboots

If there is one item from the whole mess o' trends that are coming out for Spring/Summer 2008 that I can honestly say that I lust after with all the fervour of a fallen nun who's just discovered a secret stash of Playgirl magazines (Oh lordy, I'm going to hell. And all for the price of a witty metaphor) it's the peeptoe shboot. This further hybrid of the shoe plus boot combo did make an appearance last year but this season, I predict it most definitely will be seen on all the most stylish feet (or at least on my stylish feet).

The one's I'm particularly coveting are the black, shiny patent ones with buckle, zip or lace up detail. Like the other shoe of the season, the heeled gladiator sandal, they are desirable because they are fierce. If I so much as look at a pair I want to beat my chest a roar. They'll be perfect for adding some much needed edge to all those flirty floral summer dresses but I'm also thinking that if I must absolutely, positively wear harem or bubble pants this summer (and I must), then these are the shoes I'll be wearing with them.

The fantasyAt just over £300 these shboots from Chloe are not as expensive as they could be, but they're hardly bargain basement, so in my fantasy world where money is no object and I am not dead broke, these would be ideal. Note the shiny patent leather, triangular heel and big shiny buckle. Available at net-a-porter.com

The fabulousIf you fancy something like the Chloes but your purse is crying "hell no!" then these designalikes from Kurt Geiger might be worthy of your attention. At £180, I have to say, I had to do a double-take because really if your going to pay that much for KGs you might as well go the whole hog and get yourself the Chloes. But they're cute and shiny , if a little bit too simple detail-wise. Available at Kurt Geiger.com

The fanciable
Topshop can always be relied on to jump on a trend and run with it, so unsuprising really when they came up with these two-toned stompers, £95. Perfect for coming over all long-legged, especially with those harem pants (you know you'll be wearing them too). Available at Topshop.com

The (af)fordable
I love the ruched ankle strap and zip detail on these shboots from Office. I'm also loving the price - a mere £75. Okay, they've not got that patent shine or the triangle heel but they do look a lot like the Chloes and they cost a lot less. Available at Office.com

Shoes, shoes everywhere...

I may not be in any position to buy anything lately but that hasn't stopped me stalking the online sales like a voyeuristic shoe-monster. My latest crush is Shoe-runway.com. A relatively new site (it only opened in August last year) it's aim is to sell gorgeous shoes from established and up-and-coming designers. Which is a happy coincidence since my aim is to buy gorgeous shoes - when I can afford them.

They're not bursting at the seams with stuff yet and the website could do with a little more work but with designers like Jenne O, Beatrix Ong and Georgina Goodman, they've got the shoes bit right. And the best news of all? They've got a sale on!

Here are some of the pairs I covet:

Click on image to enlarge
1. Nicole Brundage patent knee boots, £186 (black), £152 (white) - so shiny, so retro, so me!
2. Georgina Goodman black and gold striped platforms, £120 - "on-trend" for spring/summer 08
3. Jenne O pewter shboots, £125 - is it a shoe? Is it a boot? Is it a slipper? Don't know but definitely gorgeous
4. Beatrix Ong cut-out shboots, £131 - love the cutout detail

Fantasy sales picks

For the most part, for we lowly plebs who still rely on the leftoevers of the paycheck for our shopping pleasure, these sale items are out of reach. Still, there's no harm in looking. So what, if every now and then I have to lick the screen?

Clockwise from top: Hamish Morrow dress, £145; Mauro Grifoni cashmere knit, £90; Nina Ricci skirt, £489; Giulia Piersanti bib dress, £175

I lurve these shoes. Never have I come so close to considering bank robbery as a viable career option!

Clockwise from top: Jenne O patent thigh boots, £270; Sabelt green lace-up boots, £134; Dries Van Norten shboots, £185; Marc Jacobs ankle boots, £228

Images via Browns and Yoox.com

Designalike: Topshop Vs Burberry Prorsum

Spot the difference: here's a clue, one pair has waaay more studs

It looks like Burberry Prorsum is the new designer that all the high street want to copy. Can't say I blame them. After all, its take on the fetish trend, that brought us these gloves, is the best thing out there.

I have been coveting the studded platform shoes (and dreaming about robbing banks to pay for them) for a while now. Looks like I'm not the only one, as Topshop has pounced to produce these £65 copies. They're not a bad effort either, the floating platform is a stroke of genius (better than the original?) pity about the lack of stud coverage, though.

They're selling so fast that as at the time of posting only 2 pairs of size 37s remain online. Seeing as 37 is not my size (boo, hiss), I can only exhort those of you with tiny feet to nab them while you can.

See more shoes
See my shoes

It's not who you wear, it's how you wear it

We're in the midst of Fashion Week frenzy and so my thoughts have turned to fashion labels and those who covet them. Because me? Not so much. I am firmly of the belief that an item of clothing's only value is the way you put it together with other items.

Primark's okay for Mr Pugh

Seeing as I'm not particularly rich (I'm working on it Ma!) I like stuff to be wallet friendly. I buy cheap shoes. I shop at Primark. The high street is my friend. I tend to pick things up that catch my eye and that I can afford. I don't care who's selling them.

My main concerns when it comes to shopping are: "ooh shiny!" or "ooh red!" or, if they're shoes, "ooh high!" and what sorts of outfits I could make of them. Afterall, they are items of clothing. They are not religion.

Now don't get me wrong, I still drool over clothes and shoes in the magazines like any other fashion obsessed girl (Miu Miu heels... to die for y'all) and I almost peed myself with joy when I bought a pair of Vivienne Westwood heels that I had been coveting for half my life (they were in the sales and about £50. I could not believe my luck). What I don't get is when people start to value one particular item of clothing above another simply because it has a designer label attached.

Mischa Barton gets fugged. Pic via Go Fug Yourself

Surely it's not so much about who made the clothes you wear as the way you wear them? Am I being naive in thinking that wearing head to toe high street in an interesting and stylish way trumps wearing head to toe designer and turning out like something from Go Fug Yourself?

I found it heartening reading a recent interview in the Independent on Sunday with fashionista-favourite du jour, Gareth Pugh, about what he wears: "Primark jeans, Uniqlo hoodie and a pair of £5 trainers from a shop on Brick Lane". I can only hope that he keeps that down to earth as his fashion star rises.

In the meantime, I'll be rocking my £10, sky blue, mock patent, Primark peeptoe wedgies with style and pride (and that cool vintage milk frau dress that I got from Brick Lane), while I dream sweet dreams of those Dries Van Noten shoes that may someday be mine (they would just look so good with my American Apparel black lame leggings and a leather dress).

See all the shoes I own

I can't get these damned Dries Van Noten shoes out of my head

My shoe craziness continues. Having first spied these quirky-cute shoes from Dries Van Noten in Poste Mistress (and running screaming from the shop at the mention of it's £340 price tag) my love for them has not abated. I have fallen. Hard.

So hard, in fact, that I went back to Poste Mistress last week, just for another peek and to try them on. Unfortunately, they didn't have the black ones left in my size. Which I should probably see as a sign, except... I still really, really want a pair.

So I went looking online and found some on Head Start Shoes all the way out in Philly, which is fine, if you live in Philly or even in the US, I guess. I have a feeling I'm going to have to rack this under my "the ones that got away" list. Ah, well...

Gil's back and better than ever

Shoes glorious shoes - Gil Carvalho for Faith

In the these times of the over-hyped designer/high street collab, it's sort of refreshing that Gil Carvalho has returned to Faith with a new collection with nary a whimper in the press.

It's also quite sad because if ever anyone actually deserved some hype, this shoe designer is one of them. I love this guy's shoes. They are so cool, so pretty, so tall. What's not to like?

With a starting price of £115, these shoes are at the top end of the high street shoes price scale but they are so desireable, all it takes is a little shopping maths: this one pair of shoes is equal to two pairs of Schuh shoes, so I won't buy two pairs of Schuh shoes, I'll buy this pair instead.

It makes sense in shop-logic, trust me.

For girls who know what they love

On a recent night out with the girlies, the chat came to clothes: what we wear, what we don't, etc. And, apparently, there are women out there who buy a favourite item and wear it lovingly till it falls off. Who'd a thunk it?!

Having the attention span of a gnat with ADD, I couldn't fathom ever having a favourite item beyond a week. My style is more chameleon than faithful turtle but I do admire a girl who can pull on the same outfit again and again and still look stunning and individual.

One of the girlies that I met was the talented Maiko Dawson and - for those of us who'll pay a little extra for a whole lot more wear and comfort - she makes exceedingly good shoes and bags. We spent quite some marvelling at the handmade leather slippers with stone detail she was wearing.

Check out her wares at maikodawson.com. My favourites are the M bag, £185 and the pretty metallic Molly shoes, £320. They're not cheap but they're gorgeous, individual and I guarantee you will wear them to death.

Georgina Goodman range at Evans

Clockwise from top left: spotted peeptoe, £50; spotted wedge, £45; patent and metallic platform, £45

I'm loving the new Georgina Goodman shoes at Evans. Bold colours, quirky designs, platforms, spots - they're right up my street.

Prices range from £35- £50, so they won't break the bank. And ladies with larger feet can even find ones that fit. Perfect.