Black dog

I've been thinking about my decison to change my style up and start working a mostly black wardrobe. Upon reflection, it's no coincidence that my once chaotic, loud, colourful clothing choices have been pared down to neutral. Has it got something to do with my mood these days or is all that grey turning me into a miserable old bag?

It's weird how reinvention not only affects you but the people around you as well. So drastic is my style change that someone at work actually pulled me aside to ask if I was in mourning or something bad had happened. Which on the one hand made me feel like: "shut up, I don't dress for your amusement" but on the other hand was like: "Interesting...". If you believe that the clothes we wear are an expression of ourselves - either who we are or how we wish to be perceived - then suddenly pulling out the widow's weeds might have a deeper meaning for me than I originally thought.

The past year and a half has been a little difficult for me. I won't go into details, but there have been a lot of significant endings and I'm thinking my radical style change has been on some level an attempt to deal with things. Somehow, right now it's important for me to go back to neutrality. But I like to believe it's a place of calm and simplicity rather than just darkness.

I spent most of my late 20s in a sort of functional depression where I was cut off from the rest of the world and I don't want to go there again. So part of my style now is definitely about feeling the need to be fierce, to get girded up, to go into warrior mode. Everything is hard edged and off kilter. Everything is armour. I am prepared for war.

It's not all gloom and doom. I have made many new friends and re-acquianted myself with some old ones. I am picking up on the things that are really important to me and the things that I really want to do that I have somehow stopped myself from doing or put on hold. Yeah, some of it's difficult and in flux but actually life is good. I'm not in mourning at all, what I am doing is taking stock. I am coming back to myself at my most essential so that I can become a more authentic me.

Some of that change might become apparent on this blog. I might have to shut it down altogether. I haven't really made up my mind yet. It depends on who I end up finding at the end of all this. Things might be quiet around here for a while (or maybe, simply different), but I am still here, so when you drop by, say Hi.

Image courtesy of elsh at Redbubble

I know I've been away too long...

I've been really busy. Cutting my hair(!) and putting on make up.

I've gone from this:

L'il miss bushy hair

To this:Ms Moody Chops, to you!

But mostly I've been mega busy with the day job. And with life.

The best thing about the new hair is that it fits in perfectly with my new style. I'm all about the dark right now - studs, sturdy boots and black, black, black.
I'll be writing all about it. When I get a free minute that isn't taken up with work and sweet oblivion.

The philosophy of fashion

I suppose because I write a blog about dressing up, it could easily be assumed that all that fills my head is clothes and shoes and other matters of style. And while I'd freely admit to being completely fascinated with what people wear and how they wear it, I have other fascinations too.

One of my other fascinations is philosophy. The endless rumination about how we live our lives and how we can learn to live better lives by examining how we live now and we have lived in the past is something that adds meaning and insight to everyday humdrum existence. Much like the human preoccupation with adorning ourselves.

One of my favourite philosophers is Alain de Botton because he makes philosophy so much more accessible and less fusty and academic than most. So when I found this video on Style.com of him holding forth on the importance fashion to society, I thought I'd share it.

He wore an itty bitty, teeny weeny

... pair of shorts. And it seems that by doing this, sulky but fit, metrosexual footballer du jour, Ronaldo has sparked a trend. If the breathless spin of the Debenham's press office is to be believed, "Cristiano Ronaldo has created a huge surge in sales of men’s super-tight, figure- hugging sports shorts".

Far be it for me to miss out on using a picture of the dashing Ronaldo - sans shirt and avec teeny weeny shorts - on this blog for the delectation of my female readership.

It does worry me slightly that there must be a lot of contortion involved to fit in all his dangly bits though. I mean, wherever does he put them? Mystery.

Says Paul Baldwin, Director of Buying for Menswear at Debenhams: “His sense of style has moved men’s shorts into an entirely new ball game." This is a direct quote, I did not make it up. Make of it what you will. I just spent an hour LOL-ing like a LOLcat on laughing gas. Truly.

Anyway, the up shot of it all is that our eyes will be assualted this summer with the sight of many men squeezed into too tight shorts in various pastel shades. It won't be pretty but it'll be pretty hilarious. As the ever erudite Mr Baldwin puts it: “Alas, they may not be the best choice for more generously proportioned people such as Peter Kay or John Prescott.”

Word, Mr Balwin, WORD.

Happy Friday!

Guilty Pleasures: Crank 2

I love Jason Statham movies. They are always a pure slice of adrenaline-fuelled, testosterone-ridden campness. So when I saw this trailer for Crank 2, I had to post it.

No, it's not fashion, but when the premise to a movie is that someone has stolen the hero's heart and replaced it with a an artificial one that he has to charge up with electricity every hour and it contains such gems of dialogue as: "You're gonna tell me exactly who's got my heart!" You've got to stop the presses y'all.

Check it out:


Mr Statham, I salute you.

Leaving the tag on*

I'm very bad with blog Tag posts. I used to not get tagged at all but then when I did start to get tagged, I'd either completely miss it or just not get round to doing it. This time I have space and time and an uncommon sense of discipline, so I'm going to do this tag that the lovely, and frequently hilarious, Tor of Fabfrocks has given me.

The guidelines:

1. Respond and rework. Answer the questions on your blog, replace one question you dislike with a question of your own invention; add a question of your own.
2. Tag eight other un-tagged people.


What is your current obsession?
At the moment, it's poetry. April is national poetry month and I along with some pretty darn awesome poets have taken a challenge to write 30 poems in 30 days. So far it's going pretty well and I've just written my 8th poem but it means that all I can currently think about are airy fairy words.

Do you nap a lot?
I'm not a great napper. I like to be up and about or I feel cheated out of the day. What a bizzare question.

Who was the last person you hugged?
Ben and Emma (Yes, that's two people but they sort of come as a set so it doesn't count) yesterday when I went to meet the gorgeous Maximus Babyus, who just cooed and gurgled and smiled until I was heap of mushy babylovin' goo.

What’s for dinner?
Usually it's eggs or beans or whatever's left over from the night before.

What was the last thing you bought?
Fringed and studded peeptoe ankle boots from New Look.

What are you listening to right now?
Tears for Fears greatest hits. The sound of my teenage-hood. Head over Heels is probably one of my favourite songs of all time and I will forever have a crush on the young Roland Orzabal (though I don't fancy the older one much). Check out the vid... God, I like 'em dorky!

What is your favourite weather?
Sunshine. The hotter, the better.

What's in your bathroom cabinet?
Oh dear, I'm not sure you want to know the entire contents. I'll just say moisturiser, and body scrub and leave it at that, I think.

Say something to the person/s who tagged you.
Tor, you have the rockingest rock chic hair.

If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you want it to be?
Right in the middle of the space-time continuum vortex thingy, so that I could be everywhere at once. What? It's not cheating.

Name the things you can’t live without.
Writing. Amazing friends. Good times. My lappie and t'internet.

What is your favourite tea flavour?
There is only one tea and it's builders tea.

What would you like to get rid of?
The 5 day working week. Why can't we just work weekends instead, eh?

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Only an hour? I'd like to drop in my friend Peter in Chicago.

What did you want to become as a child?
Oh lord! Everything. Explorer, writer, artist, archeologist, footballer, ballerina, comedian, singer... the list goes on and on

What do you miss?
Mostly, absent friends and family.

What are you reading right now?
I've got three books on the go at the moment: Notes on a Scandal by Zoe Heller, PopCo by Scarlett Thomas and Vernon God Little by DBC Pierre. I always read more than one book at a time, so I don't get bored during the slow bits and I have a bit of variety.

What's your favourite brand of jeans?
Any that will fit and that I don't have to pay more than £50 for. Because they are jeans, the garb of the masses and should not cost hundreds of pounds no matter what the designers say they will do for your bum!

What designer piece of clothing would you most like to own (new or vintage)?
I would love to own something from Maison Martin Margiela. Or maybe these Berardi boots?

Will you have plastic surgery/botox etc.?
I would rather have full mobility in my face, so no botox thankyoueverso. True beauty is character and expression, the very things that botox erases. Also, am I the only one who thinks that injecting yourself with botulism to look younger is rather sick? As for plastic surgery... I don't know, I kinda like looking like me.

I tag:

Mikkle @ Blogue , Juliet @Fashion Lolita, Rowena @ Rosie Pop , Birdy Moola @ Oola Moola, Wee Birdy

*Don't laugh at the pathetic excuse for a witty pun in the title. Other "winners" included "a-tag of the 60ft woman", "remember the tag-tans" and "tig tag toe", so be grateful is all I'm sayin'.

The lady vanishes

Oh, hello! Remember me? Well let's just recap here: This used to be regular blog about stuff; mainly my love of shoes and shopping, what I was wearing, what I wouldn't wear if you smothered me sugar and brought in the fire ants, that sort of thing. I like to think I did it all with good humour, that I did it well and that I did, well, regularly.

But, as you can see from the date of my last post, that hasn't been going all that well lately. I want to apologise for that. Not necessarily because I've been away so long - you know, sometimes shit. just. happens. and when it does does, well, you can't see the woods for the shit storm. No, I'm apologising because I just left y'all hanging. No explanations. No return date. No nothing. And that's... just not very polite. So yeah, sorry.

The shit storm still rages but I have found myself a clear bit of window to look out of, and I'll be back to blogging. Not as regularly as I'd like. Not yet. But I'm hoping there'll be a post or two a week.

Just wanted to let y'all know that I am alive. Thanks to everyone who enquired about my health and my sanity. Especially you Rowena and you Kate.

Right, that's it for now, see you in a few.

Talk to The Hat

There were many, many impressive things about yesterday's inauguration of America's first black President: Obama's pitch perfect speech, and just how tall and imposing Michelle Obama really is, for example.

But I have to say I was very impressed by the sheer presence of The Hat that was wearing Aretha Franklin. Let's just take another look at that baby: That is some hat. That hat looks like it has it's own condo and pays alimony to it's former wife. That hat is holed up somewhere in Reno, making plans to take over the world and WILL NOT BE DENIED! Mwahahahaha!

The rumour is that The Hat is the work of the Mr Song Millinery in Detroit. Of course, I had just had to take a look at the birth place of such a superlative affair. Athough I could find no sign of anything quite like The Hat, this came close.

There are also many other fine pretenders to The Hat (I would show you but Blogger image loader seems to have had it with cooperating for the day. *sigh*). 

But The Hat is special and therefore one of a kind. I guess.

About last week

So, you've probably been wondering where the hell I've been over the past week. Well, let's see...

• I've been job hunting, as my last work contract ended just before Christmas. So I've been doing the round of interviews, etc. (BTW if you know anyone who could use a an experienced Web Editor/Manager/Copywriter with added technical and design knowhow, please tell them that I'm available to anyone who's paying!).

• The lease is up on the house in "The Nethers", so the bloke and I have been house-hunting and managed to find a great place nearer to actual civilisation (with it's own cinema and everything!) and are now doing that entire angsty, stressy, expensive, moving thing again. What japes! 

• Because money is tight, I've also been doing my best to avoid shopping - very hard, especially during sales time. I've ended up making a few sneaky buys but mostly I've confined myself to a new addiction to buying old sweaters at thrift shops for various bits of DIY-ing (more of that to come in other posts).

• Speaking of addictions, after a long and loving friendship, I have finally given up smoking (or "fellating the evil cancer weed", as I liked to call it in my darker moments of reflection). I am currently fighting my addiction with nicotine replacement, delivered in a handy-dandy inhalator (why it's called an "inhatalor", as opposed to your common or garden variety "inhaler", remains a mystery ). It's white and shaped oddly like a cross between a cigarette holder and a tampon dispenser. I realise that might sound disgusting but when compared to smoking a mixture of formaldehyde, tar and tobacco, it's a fair trade-off, I think. I'm looking forward to fresher air, cleaner lungs and a life-long addiction to nicotine replacement.

In other news, one of my favourite bloggers Liberty London Girl is back. Yay! Catch up on all her adventures so far, here.

Channelling Denise Huxtable

Some nights, it's just hard to sleep. Last night was one of those nights. So I tossed and turned a while, chasing the elusive zzzs on the cusp of nodding off, thinking maybe I should just get up already and do something but also thinking it's too damned cold for that.

I had a spurt of childhood memories, which made me laugh and then just as I was nodding off a name and image popped into my head... Denise Huxtable. As a teen I loved the Cosby Show and I loved Denise most of all. She was the pretty rebel; bright but dissolute and that appealed. But most of all I loved the way she dressed. She was like no-one else. Totally unique but still really stylish and cool.

I wanted to dress like her. Hell, I wanted to be her. I spent this morning trawling the internet for images. Strangely, there aren't that many but I made a little corkboard shrine to her anyways.
(Click to enlarge)

Later on, I went thrifting at a few much-loved local charity shops and found the most amazing, colourful 80s sweater. Coincidence? I think not.

Here I am channelling Denise H:
(Click to enlarge)

Clown face

I have to admit to an ongoing love/hate relationship with make-up. I love checking out the new season's looks just as much as the next girl but when it comes to translating the looks onto my skin, I just can't seem to get it right. 

I'm not completely inept. I can do a passable smokey eye and I'm a dab hand with the flicky eyeliner but I'd give anything (okay, maybe not anything, but a fair bit) for the ability to create a little drama with my make up bag; to be totally transformed. 

The problem is for black skin you need a lot of pigment and most high street brand colours won't cut it. However the more bespoke make-up counters are not cheap and (in the UK at least) lack expertise with doing up darker skins. I once tried going into mac in Covent Garden for some pointers for a more dramatic look. I came out with a make up brush, some foundation powder and some eyeshadow. In brown. Gah!   

Anyway today, in my ongoing refusal to give-in in the face of a fixed outcome, I tried to create a strong eyebrow and an intense wash of colour to my lids like the fashion pundits have been going on about. (Click image to enlarge).
If the look I was going for was Bozo the Clown, I think I managed it.

NB: In case you're wondering how I got the Polaroid photo effect, check out the Poladroid app here. 

A room of my own

I've been indulging in a little DIY action today, making snoods from thrifted old jumpers. It's not an original idea. If you want to know about it see the excellent DIY post by Jeanine at The Coveted here. 

When I was buying the raw materials - old woolen sweaters from the local charity shop - to put the snoods together yesterday, the bloke looked at me as though I was half mad but I knew exactly what I was doing, so I put on my stubborn face and told him I'd meet him in the supermarket. Here's one of my snoods, not half bad for £3 and a bit of elbow grease, eh?:




Apart from DIY being a good creative outlet and cheap way to spice up your wardrobe, I also find it therapeutic. It's nice to do something that on one level has your full attention while also letting your mind wander.

I started to think about creativity and originality, why I started this blog, why I write at all and why it is all so important to me. I started this blog mainly because I needed a creative outlet. I've always been creative and I have always loved writing, oh and shoes and dressing up. Once I'd found out about blogging, writing a blog about fashion seemed like a no brainer.

It's been a tonne of fun ever since. I've enjoyed the interaction and insight of fellow bloggers and comments (even the occasional snide one) from readers. I've enjoyed getting up in the morning and thinking: I'd like to write about that, and then just doing it.

It's also been a lot of hard work but mostly it's made me think about the things I want to do and how I want to live my life.

When I was younger, I thought the key to happiness in life is to find the stuff that makes you happiest and incorporate it into every aspect of your life. The problem with this, of course, is that the stuff that makes you happy and the people that make you happy are not always necessarily a perfect fit. And neither is real life.

In my ideal world, I would spend every minute on my computer happily trawling the internet, blogging to my heart's content and never having to deal with messy non-computer-related things like loved ones or bathing or work. Unfortunately, in the real world I have bills to pay, relationships to maintain and a need to not kill every living thing within a 12 mile radius with rank BO. That's just how it is.

So, while I cherish and continue to nurture my own creativity I also understand that there's a balance to be struck and compromises to be made. Sometimes I hate that I have to do this but... that's just how it is. It can be frustrating.

Virginia Woolf was right when she said "a woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write...". Yes, she was writing specifically about writing great works of fiction but I think it can be extended out to include any writing or any act of creativity at all.

I also think that "a room of one's own" is not just about that physical room but also that room inside your own head that is for you alone. A space to retreat to where you're not bound to any responsibilities or conventionalities, where you can just... be. And if the people you love and respect, the work that you do and the life that you lead allow for this room, you are a very lucky person indeed. But if not, I think it is reasonable as a woman and as a human being to seek out this space, to guard it jealously and to fight like a tiger if it is threatened.

That is why I am thankful for this blog, for this room of my own and for the readers that come to visit me here. It's why I'm happy not to dwell on blog rankings or hit numbers or monetisation and any of a thousand other blogger concerns. Because at the end of the day, I've already got what I want, I just want to get on with enjoying it. I am also happy and thankful that you can come and visit and enjoy it with me whenever you want. I look forward to making your next visit as interesting as the last.

Confessions of a Shopaholic

I've never read the series of Shopaholic books by Sophie Kinsella but I just came across the trailer for the movie based on the first book and it's looking pretty enticing. I hear it'll be out sometime early next year.

The film stars Ilsa Fisher as the hapless heroine, addicted to shopping who refers to credit cards as "magic cards". Can you see the mountain of debt coming her way? Well, can ya?? Cue all manner of cute 'n' funnies as she tries to clear her debt and "find herself".

I really like Isla Fisher - she is wildly under-utilised as comedy actor (remember the mad, red-haired nympho from Wedding Crashers? That was she). I have to say, I'm looking forward to seeing this. Check out the trailer below and tell me what you think.

PS: This was the best copy of the trailer that I could find but it comes with a lot of feeble talking head gumph after the trailer that you could probably do without seeing. So disregard the two numpties in the chairs afterwards if you like. Also... who critiques a trailer? I sthis a thing now, trailer critiquing? Well, alrighty then.

Lost weekend

I've been pretty much out for the count this weekend with the mother of all colds. I kid you not, the stuff that was issueing forth from my cavities was fully formed and sentient. Seriously. Needless to say, I had absolutely no wish to be out of bed or near a computer for any length of time.

Now I can just about move, I guess a little catch-up is in order.

Alison Whelan, FBC Chairman & Co-Founder; Dolly Jones, Editor of Vogue.com and FBC Board Member; Michael Herz, Head of Womenswear Design at Aquascutum; Courtney Blackman, FBC Vice Chairman & Co-Founder

On Thursday, and all thanks to the lovely Courtney, I attended a Fashion Business Club talk featuring Michael Herz, head of Womenswear Design at Aquascutum in conversation with Dolly Jones, Editor of Vogue.com. The place was packed. Not being a fashion insider myself, it was interesting to see what fashion types do/talk about. Interesting thing that came up included:

• Young designers and fleeting fame - Michael mooted that maybe up and coming designers should actually go out and work with other well established design houses first before setting up their own companies.

• The Aquascutum SS09 "blue collection" - a whole show of variation on the colour blue. I have to admit, I'd not heard of or seen it before now but it is interesting. Below are some items from the collection that I particularly liked:
• Sustainable fashion - Apparently this is going to be the next big thing in fashion. And, no, it's a not all materials made from potato skins and organic cotton. Must find out more.

Friday evening I was overcome by an overwhelming desire to go shopping, brought about by some timely money off vouchers, I received by email. Part two, later.

... And all I got was this lousy t-shirt

Last week I went to quite a peculiar launch. It wasn't for fashion or clothing or shopping (well, not strictly speaking). It was for a new generation of mobile phone from the 3 network.

It's called the INQ1 and the main selling point of the new device, as far as I can see, is that it's got widgets that allow you to access social networking and other useful social sites.

Top of the list, of course, is Facebook but it also gives you instant access to skype, Windows Live Messenger and Last Fm. So far, so ever-so-slightly interesting, if your a tech-head who loves their toys. Apparently you get access to ebay too, though I didn't see that in the demo. But, hey, ebay, right? Shopping. Cool.

Still, I had to ask: what the hell was I, a consummate fashion blogger, doing there? Well, according to the PR men I was what they call a "voice", which means that I have the ability to influence opinions online (at least that's what I suppose it means, either that or Simon, I've got the X-Factor!)

I wasn't the only blogger there. There was Kirsty Lee from That's Just My Vibe, along with bloggers that I hadn't met before like Amanda Gore from psfk and Priyanka Kanse from Two Parts Mixer. Meeting these two people alone, was worth a couple of hours of my time.

Now don't get me wrong, I like these little juants that I get invited to. It's nice to be noticed and it's good to see the PR guys cottoning on to the fact that bloggers have a "voice". Besides, a London girl knows not to look a free-champaign-bearing gift horse in the mouth. And because other bloggers get invited too, it's fertile ground for networking and getting know other people.

I also know that there's an element of quid pro quo involved. I'm not stupid. I know I've been invited on the understanding that I will eventually use that "voice" I have, to write about where I've been and what I've seen.

So let me use that "voice" now and say this: it's an interesting enough phone and I'm sure that it has it's uses but... Being a blogger, the first thing I had to ask was: where's the easy access to blogging ware?

Secondly, being a fashion blogger n' all, why was the phone so damned plain? It wasn't covered in swarowski crystals, it didn't come in a variety of customisable colours, it wasn't shaped like a shoe or a handbag. Even the wallpaper was a little dull. So, what was in it for me?

So here lies my dilemma: one of the fringe benefits of blogging is getting access to events like this. But sometimes, it's not a perfect fit. I'd rather have been invited to London Fashion Week or a preview of Topshop's Spring/Summer 09 collection. But that's not happened yet. It will, I guess, with time and patience. For now, I go where I'm invited and see where that leads. It's like a game of Hopscotch, you keep moving forward to get to the next box.

This time I got a goody pack which consisted of a USB disk full of press bumf, a quite decent art print, and a t-shirt that I'll probably never wear. Maybe next time I'll get the red, swarowski crystal encrusted, shoe-shaped, blogger-loaded phone of my dreams. That would make things far more interesting for me. And for you.

Me with my rad new tee and print of the Geisha DJ... sweeeet!

If you're a fan of social networking on your mobile, you can find out more about it the INQ1 here. Be warned, there's audio video on the page so turn the sound off before you click if you're at work.

Johnny Comme lately

So today was officially (except in Japan) Comme day and every able bodied woman in London was in Oxford Circus this morning buying up their own body weight in H&M designer collab merchandise. I had, wisely, decided that all that unseemly queueing, scrabbling and (possibly) biting was beneath me and didn't go.

Plus, who can be arsed to start their day queuing to get into the shops like it's some sort of war time rations day. I went to work instead. At about lunchtime, I changed my mind and thought I'd just go take a look just in case the mad swarms had left something behind. Of course it was too late. The baggy trousers and polka-dotted scarf that I might just have parted with my money for were long gone.

In a way I'm happy. I gave in to a wobble of temptation when I hadn't really cared enough to buy anything from the collection anyway. Obviously, the subliminal shopper in me had other ideas but was thwarted by those more consciously consumerist and more prepared to do anything to get what they want.

You'd think that, in these supposedly cash-strapped times, another heavily hyped shopping event would be greeted with an eerie silence and the sight of tumbleweed being casually blown across the street. Not so. It appears we are still in thrall to 30 years of continuous casual consumption.

I read an article by esteemed psychologist and author of Affluenza, Oliver James in The Times Magazine last weekend. It was about the recession and how, hopefully it would change our collective mentality from one of insane consumerism and lucre chasing to one with a more balanced view, where living life will be more important than acquiring things to fill that life with.

Says he: "Affluenza values will be replaced by the pursuit of intrinsic pleasures. Interest, enjoyment and the stimulation of a real challenge will become paramount: things are done for their own sake, not simply to please anyone else." Leaving aside the contradictions inherent in the fact that he is actually plugging his book - presumably to make a bit more money himself, it's still pretty heady stuff. Wouldn't it be cool if the silver lining to the credit crunch cloud is that we just pause a moment and realise that we can't continue to buy things that we mostly don't need.

But what would we do with ourselves when the sport of shopping suddenly ends? Well maybe we'll just all become more creative. Maybe our imaginations, dulled by the bottomless need to buy more stuff and to own whatever the latest celebrity du jour has, will be revived by necessity. And maybe if we stop watching the celebrities they'll go away. And what if we suddenly had to think twice about buying those multiple celebrity magazines because we have to choose to feed ourselves instead? Maybe they'd die and we could be content with the real world and looking at real people with real lives again.

This isn't some smug manifesto. It's just the stuff that's been going on in my head lately. It's not all fully formed but it's interesting to think about. I wonder if readers of this blog have been thinking about the threat of global recession and how it might just be the best thing that ever happened?

Read recession is a healer by Oliver James

Happy Halloween!

This Halloween, why not:

• Dress up as Michael Jackson?

This scary Halloween mask gave me the fright of my life (that is after I'd recovered from the projectile vomitting jag. Veery effective. Available on ebay.

Wear with:
Duffle coat, Topman; Scarf, Novica; Hat, Kangol; dark glasses, Extreme Eyewear; Baby Born (because you know I had to go there), Hamleys. Post-it notes optional.
Outfit sorted.

• Feel the hairs on the back of your neck prickle as you contemplate this vision of the future.

It's scary, 'cos it's true.

• Or you could just go visit Westfield shopping centre and turn yourself into braindead shopping Zombie as you fight your way through the bargain-hunting crowds.

Happy Halloween!

Style sleuthing at the supermaket

[AKA the curious incident of the vodka in the daytime].

It'll probably come as no suprise that I'm a bit of a people watcher. I love looking at other people. Sometimes I'm looking at what they're wearing - how they've put an outfit together, what they're attemtping to say about themselves visually. Which in itself is endlessly fascinating. But mainly I just like watching what other people are up to.

Yesterday while buying my usual soup n' roll lunch at the local supermarket I was intruiged by a pretty young lady at the checkout. She was about 5'6"; two long, brown braids, unmade face. Small-ish sized, she wore a black double breasted pincess coat, black leggings, white scarf and ankle length turnover uggs. I guess her age at about 21 at the most. Student, then.

Inside her shopping basket (yes, I snoop in other people's shopping baskets too. Sue. Me.) she had a half pint of skimmed milk, half-litre of Vodka, carton of orange juice and a value can of hairspray. That's all. And that's what intruiged me. That the items were so incongruous.

• The Vodka and orange juice - for making screwdrivers maybe? But then, why such a small bottle?


• The Milk - we've all run out of milk at a crucial milk-needing time and had to go get some more, but then what's with the Vodka?


• And the value hair spray - I just couldn't figure it out.

So, of course, I made up a little story in which all these items might come into play:

Lizbeth the student gets home with her afternoon shopping, opens the milk and pours some in her waiting bowl full of cornflakes. She reads a book while she eats her flakes and thinks about what she will wear for tonight's party. Her hair is feeling a little icky, so she's put it two long, lank braids but she'll have to wash it before she goes out again.

Several hours of day-dreaming/wardrobe planning later, she goes to wash her hair. She puts the damp hair in curlers and takes a nap. A couple of hours later, she wakes from her nap, takes out her curlers, carefully styles her hair and sets it with a few spritzes of hair spray.

She gets dressed, then pulls out a large empty bottle of vodka from under the bed and decants the half litre of cheap Vodka she bought that afternoon into the bottle. She tops it up with the orange juice, screws the lid on and gives it a good shake. She opens the bottle and takes a swig.

She pops her dainty little feet into some pretty heels. She glances over at the ugg ankle boots discarded and forlorn in the corner and remembers their easy, snuggly warmth. Then she looks down at her feet and knows that they look much better in her pretty heels.

She shrugs, takes another swig from the bottle, opens the door to her tiny little flat and leaves. The end.

Funny how these little things can affect you, isn't it?