Okay, so at first sight you look at this dress and you think: "ooh... pretty!" Unfortunately, the closer you look, the more you see and it ain't good. It's. Just. Too. Much. At some point, someone just sort of lost the plot with this and turned it from Oh yeah to Oh dear.I can just imagine what must've gone on in the design room the day this dress was created. It goes something like this:
Designer 1: Let's create the ultimate high street dress. Something classy and expensive looking with lots of fabric and a rich looking colour... maybe a hint of pattern.
Designer 2: Yeah, yeah! Something subtle but sexy, structured but daring... A nice long bell shaped sleeve. Full skirt. A slashed bodice to take the prim out of it.
D1: Ooh yeah, I like that! But I feel it's missing something here... Ruffles! A touch of pretty ruffle detail around the neckline, in the bodice, creating shape...
D2: Gasp! You are sooo right. Ruffles are sooo in right now. I have to say this: you, my friend, are on fire today!
D1: but there's still something... What could it possibly be? It's already just so perfect...
D2: I know what you mean... Hmmm... Hold that thought I'm just gonna go and powder my nose. *Snorting noises, followed by sneezing and toilet flushes*
D2: I've got it! It's brilliant!! You are gonna love it!!!
D1: What? *clap, clap. Sniff, sniff. Barely concealed excitement* What is it?
D2: It needs... A pelmet!
D1: Dude! That is so the missing it-ness of this dress. Now. Now it is perfection! Right, I'll just send this to the tailors and we are done.
D2: Like, stick a fork in us like a sausage, cos we are not only sizzling but also... done.
Yep. That's what I think happened.
20 hours ago