Earlier on this week, I read on the Disney Roller Girl blog that ugly arse clogs were big news for summer. Judas Priest!
I had barely got over that particular shock when hot on the heels (cloggy, uncomfortable, ugly as pigshit, heels) comes the news from the Debenhams press office that come summer we will all be wearing... wait for it... Sweatpants. `
Yeah, you heard me. That last bastion of comfort dressing, the one thing you are guaranteed to meet a recent ex and his new girlfriend in while looking like a hot mess, is THE fashion item of the summer. Oh dear.
One of the highlights of my blogging life is receiving the odd press release from Debenhams. I love the Debenhams press office. I really do. They just pull together a load of sales figures and then just run with a story. They are fantastic. I will not hear a bad word said about them. Speak, oh wise gurus:
"The return of jogging bottoms as a fashion piece is great news. It’s undoubtedly the comfiest item of clothing in every woman’s wardrobe, and now it can be worn out to the shops, to a club or on a date! Our customers already seem to love this comfy style option, just like they did when leggings came back into fashion a couple of years back.” Um... Okay.
Upon further reflection, I realised that added to the fact that Nuclear Wintour has been spotted wearing jeans and flats for the first time ever, and - excuse my while I make a sign of the cross - smiling, this is a sure sign of Fashion Armageddon. It is the end of days y'all. We are all going to perish, clutching out green velour trackie bottoms and Vuitton clogs. DOOM!
I am imagining scenarios like this:
Just add the theme music from The Omen (Oh Fortuna) and a gratuitous shot of Sam and Dean (in towels!) and we are good to go. I just wish I could do whizzy things like flashing red eyes and knives dripping blood.
3 hours ago