Saturday, 1 December 2007

River Island, why so tacky?

At first glance, I was impressed by the cut of the new party dresses on the River Island website. They looked well-tailored and solid, a little bit special, perfect for party season. Especially these:
dressed and pressed river island party dresses
strapless body-con, £44.99; lemon one-strap, £39.99; pink, cut-out halterneck, £39.99

So, why did you have to spoil them with pointless, tacky details like these:
dressed and pressed river island party dressesSo not ready for my close up- The devil's in the detail guys and your dresses are clearly possessed.

The black body-con dress already has enough wow factor. It's strapless, form-fitting and has moulded, front zipping boobage. So, why the extra, go-faster strip of lace down the sides? Congratulations! You managed to take it from stun to slut.

The yellow and pink dresses are bright, pretty, eye-catching. Adding the tacky strip of black fabric around the waist renders them unwearable. If we wanted to add a belt, we have our own accessories to see to that and we wouldn't necessarily want to use black. Now the choice has been made for us. Thanks guys, you just put the lousy in fabulous.

Oh and one other thing, stop with the equally pointless and irritating tag signs such as "love this", "Look loves", and recent addition "in the press". Again, just tacky. If we're already on your site, we don't need to be notified about what you or anybody else thinks of your wares. If you had any pride in your product at all, you wouldn't need to slap us round the face with the wet fish of it. Like we give a shit. Basically, what I'm saying is: shut up and sell nice clothes!

Trust me, if you make them, we will buy. Here is an example of what works:
dressed and pressed river island velvet jacket
Velvet jacket, £44.99. All items from River Island.

This velvet jacket is an instant classic. Okay, you could probably loose the rhinestones without the risk of revolution but it's still perfect for wearing over pretty, party dresses. Shame you just can't seem to make any.

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About me

I like pretty dresses, high heels, the colour red and good writing.