Oh, smock off! Primark dress, £12.If you are a pregnant woman right now, you must be in shopping heaven. Afterall, everything you are currently wearing is at the forefront of fashion and will continue to be for the foreseeable future.
On the other hand, the rest of us... Oh, how we suffer. Yes, I am talking about the ubiquitous smock - smock dresses, smock tops, smock shirts - shapeless cloth sacks with sleeves (presumably so that you don't mistake them for the laundry bag). Also cleverly marketed by some retailers as tunics (we are not fooled).
At first, like everyone else, I was taken in by their promise: dressing with ease, the hiding of bumps and lumps, the throwing away of the spanx. But now I see these items for what they are. They hide the lumps but they hide the curves you would rather show off too.
If you have a cleavage they literally start where your cleavage ends giving you that Demis Roussos - my-mumu-just-ate-me look, which? Is so not a good look.
In desperation, I've taken to disguising my smocks in various ways: belts give you a waist, waist-coats slim down the upper body. Still, the thrill is gone. It's time to say "smock off!" to smocks.
Come back ladylike dresses, all is forgiven!
