Friday, 11 April 2008

Flares Vs Skinnies

I've been giving it some serious thought for a while now (because this is how I do) and I've come to one conclusion: in a bitch fight between flares and skinnies, the skinnies will beat flares' arse every time.

For a starters, let's all just admit what everyone has been thinking but nobody's come right out and said: no matter how many times the fashion pundits of the world throw them in our general direction as the next big fashion fad, flares are never making a come back. They are stuck in the 70s and there they will stay.
Kate Moss - looks good in skinnies and flares... Bitch.

Do you wanna know why? Simple. It's because hardly anybody ever looks good in flares. Even models with all the image retouching and the lighting and the worlds best photographers cannot be saved from that weird shape - the crotch hug followed by the A-line taper. It's all so wrong.

Now you can say a lot of things about skinnies, how they only suit a certain skinny, long-legged shape (wrong!), how if you have anything approaching womanly curves they are not for you (wrong again!), how they make certain girls look like Oompah Loompahs, especially when teamed with the dreaded tunic (there may be a point here). But all these things are a minority issue that nothing, especially not flares, can fix.

On the other hand, for most girls, a pair of well fitting skinnies are a joy to own. They are incredibly versatile; you can team them with anything, dress 'em up, dress 'em down, they still work. You can't do anything else with flares except wear them with a tight tee, wedge shoes and stick flowers in your hair. It's all they're ever good for. You can't wear them with a dress (not if you don't want to look like the back of a bus from all sides), you certainly can't wear them with flats.
Flares - rubbish on almost everyone, even Eva


So, flares what are they good for and why do they keep being foisted on us every summer like fashion's only hope? I don't know. All I can say is keep well away. Stick to what you know, choose skinnies.

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I like pretty dresses, high heels, the colour red and good writing.